Achieving success in life has a lot to do with “Believing Right”. Understanding that our bels in life go a long way to impact everything is the first step to making sure that we become very selective with our belief systems; accepting and assimilating the right ones and quickly rejecting and discarding the wrong ones.
Beliefs can be about anything and everything; work, money, relationships, health, success, failure, the world, our environment, or about life in general. They are usually in the form of thoughts or impressions that one holds dear in any area of life and they also often determine our actions and reactions in every area of our lives. Beliefs have the power to hold us from doing things that would otherwise have made us happier or more fulfilled in life.
Those beliefs that hinder us from taking steps that would advance us towards a happier and more fulfilled version of ourselves are called Limiting Beliefs or simply put; “Limitations” or “Limits”.
Some very common limiting beliefs we have as humans include;
- Successful people are lucky.
- You need to have money and experience to make money.
- I wish I had more time or I don’t have enough time
- No matter what I do, nothing seems to work.
- There isn’t much I can do to change my life.
- You can’t have it all etc.
The list is endless and they are usually different for different people. You’ll be surprised at what you’ll discover to be your limiting beliefs if only you take out time to think about them. Try it!
These limitations tend to hold us back and stop us from working hard to achieve the results we so desire. Imagine that you have a belief that you can’t achieve success at a particular thing no matter how hard you try. Such a belief would cause you to subconsciously sabotage any plans you have or make you not to even try at all because you already believe that it would be a waste of your time and energy. You might even go so far as subconsciously creating obstacles and difficulties along the way, just to reaffirm to yourself that those beliefs are true.
For instance, over the years in my line of work I’ve helped so many people who are stuck in one area of their lives or the other get through difficult circumstances and one thing I discovered is that one of the most dangerous beliefs that can hinder you from achieving your goals in life is made up of two simple words; “I can’t.”
We all say it almost every day, in many ways: “I can’t lose weight.” “I can’t find a good relationship.” “I can’t get a job.” “I can’t get my kids to listen to me.” “I can’t manage my money.” “I can’t do this.” “I can’t do that!”, for some people it has become like a default response that is buried deep in their subconscious and usually pops up whenever they see something and their mind tells them it’s difficult, inconvenient and/or frightening.
The moment you say the words “I can’t,” you automatically limit yourself. You are involuntarily hampering your ability to do that thing even if you afterwards decide to try it. Whenever we say or think something, we are also giving instructions to our brain and our brain is like a command tower that always tries to carry out instructions that it receives to the letter, whether or not they were intended. So once you say “I can’t,” your brain essentially goes to work to try to create that outcome.
Of course there are times when we actually don’t have the skill, talent or ability to get something done but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it, rather you are not yet able to do it. Maybe if you could try to learn the skill or practiced more to gain the ability or searched harder to discover the talent in you; then you could just be able to pull it off.
So in many cases, the real situation is not that we CAN’T, but that we have chosen not to develop the skills, obtain the knowledge, or apply ourselves to accomplish that goal. Yes it might take considerable time and commitment to stand a chance of getting it done, and you might even fail at it, but you also might surprise yourself if you choose to try.
Every time we choose to limit ourselves with the belief that we CAN’T do something, we cut off wonderful possibilities of things that could have happened but never did happen. I’m sure that wasn’t the intention. If true, then start by believing right, convince yourself that it can be done, and don’t ever close out the possibility of achieving it in your mind even when you, later on, decide not to follow through with it.
You can start by:
- Any time you find yourself echoing the words “I can’t,” add one last word to it “I can’t–yet.”
- Find out small action steps you can take to overcome the initial inertia of getting started. Start doing those things you thought you couldn’t do and don’t be afraid to fail at it.
- Gradually build the momentum towards “I can” by continuing in those small steps.
Whenever you challenge your limits, you set in motion a New Energy, the energy that can help you accomplish those tasks you’ve set for yourself. Instead of saying “I can’t,” why not replace it with new words like “I CAN!”, that sounds a lot better if you ask me.
Other steps you can take to challenge your own limiting beliefs include asking yourself the following questions:
- How important is achieving this goal/objective to me? Remind yourself of the WHYs, it helps you get started.
- What if you got help from someone, would it change your ability to do that thing? This is way better than outrightly concluding that you can’t get it done. With just the right help you might be able to achieve the same or even better results.
- Are there other people you know who have been able to achieve the same fit? If they can, then you too CAN.
- Challenge that fear by asking yourself; what’s the worst that could happen? Failure, embarrassment, shame? So What? Accept those outcomes and overcome that fear. Yes you may lose something in the process but you’ve also gained more; you didn’t hold yourself back and that’s the Spirit of a winner.
- Get to the root of the problem and address it from there. Sometimes our fears are only a manifestation of a past experience that may have left scars on us. Ask yourself; is there more to this fear that I should have to consider? If there are, then figure them out and try your best to deal with them.
- Reaffirm your goals now and again – remind yourself often of the question; what do I stand to gain from achieving this goal? It might just be enough to keep you going.
Fear is in your mind – Yes that’s right. The biggest fear you have is right within you.
Did you know that what used to frighten you could turn out to be so much fun if only you actually tried it? You can ask those who have overcome theirs or recall an experience of fear you were able to overcome some time in the best. How quickly did it all become Fun?
The truth is; YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT ON THE OTHER SIDE UNTIL YOU TRY!
As always, with much Love and Respect Xo!
For more useful and practical tips on how you can challenge yourself to overcome your fears and limitations, you can check out my upcoming ebook. “How to Start from Zero” and discover a proven framework for improving the quality of your life every day by improving the quality of decisions you make in your life daily.
No matter your goals in life, this ebook distills in very practical terms; strategies that will teach you how to adopt quality decision-making habits and get rid of the bad ones.
“How to Start from Zero” provides its readers with a practical guide on how to set realistic and achievable goals as well as steps to take to make sure you’re not overwhelmed with the process. There are numerous ideas and examples to draw from to help you in your process.
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Disclaimer: Please note that I am not your doctor while I am a health coach by profession. This article is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice nor does it establish any kind of medical relationship between you and me. I will not be held liable for any damage resulting from or related to your use of this information.